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If I go sleep at 6 in the morning, does it mean I go to sleep early or late?
I`ve been wondering, If poison goes out of date and expires, does it become more or less deadly?
If I were my boss, I`d never leave my coffee cup unattended.
Sanity is so overrated. I mean, it`s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn`t want to live there....
Guys i did not copy or edit this status of mine.Please believe this is my own idea!
"Okay" means you`re in the clear. "K" means you`re better off not coming home. Fellas, you know what I`m talking about.
You call it free samples, I call it a free all you can eat buffet.
I was raised on the streets is more manly than saying I grew up watching Sesame Street.
What do you mean my bathrobe is inappropriate? Isn`t it casual Friday?!
I don’t have time for the nervous breakdown I deserve.
Being sick is your bodies way of saying “Hey, you really need to catch up on some TV”.
Today I am thankful for my family....and this 5th of vodka that helps me deal with them.
I`ve been baptized five times this week in five different churches. I wish the landlord would hurry up and fix my shower.
And the day after Christmas has revealed that the holiday is just an elaborate ruse to get you home to fix your parents computer problems.
I have a confession to make... "I want to get back with my ex"...LOL Just Kidding..."I`d rather shit in my hands and clap !"