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Laugh if you will but this night-light has an undefeated record at repelling Boogeymen.
Hey! Wanna make $$$$$$ fast? Just follow my simple instructions. 1:Hold down the Shift key 2:Press the number 4 six times. It’s that easy.
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
Pick a woman with wits. Wits will never sag.
"I’m not drunk!” is an argument only very drunk people think they can win
To all the lovely ladies here I`m not wearing green....to all the guys here, I know Ju-Jitsu. Just saying
I`m a passionate supporter of things that don`t inconvenience me or require any type of action or physical effort.
2015 and still no thieves interested in my identity.
The leading cause of divorce ? ... marriage
I have never preheated an oven but I have pre-eaten a frozen pizza.
When people tell me that I’ve changed, I want to shake them and tell them: β€œAnd so should you!”
Facebook account for sale, Friends included...
When are they going to drug test the audience of "The Price Is Right."? No one is that happy
Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.
You know it`s a classy establishment when they quietly ask you to leave.