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I don`t really understand why women are expected to be able to cook if they can give blowjobs.
I`m not upset because it`s Monday, I`m upset because I have to wear pants
Group Therapy: listening to ALL your voices.
How to get laid: 1)Lay on bed... Wait 1 hour until lay becomes past tense
Can we all just agree to start spelling it "Wensday"?
Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the morning coffee and went straight for the booze?
justin bieber
Have you ever looked at someone and thought, "Yep, you have a person in your basement."?
However lonely you feel, you`re never alone. [There are literally millions of bugs, mites and bacteria living in your house.] Goodnight.
Instead of a selfie, you should take a someone elsie.
Honestly, Officer, I wouldn`t have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me
Give fat people a break. They have a lot on their plate.
if your looking for love sorry to disappoint you im already in a relationship with fun and freedom. :-)
My therapist told me I`m nuts. I said "I wanted a second opinion." She said "Well ok, you`re ugly too."
I`m awesome ... Don`t question it, just deal with it.