Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes you can tell it’s going to be a bad day when someone you don’t like is smiling.
Ya Know, if I was Jessie`s Girl. I would of dumped Jessie for Rick Springfield!!
Telling someone they shouldn`t be sad because others have it worse is like telling someone they shouldn`t be happy because others have it better.
I got a letter from my crush on Valentine`s Day. Well, technically it`s a restraining order but still....
If electricity comes from electrons… does that mean that morality comes from morons?
My wife has a thing for bringing injured animals home... I think she should just stop driving.
You pay more attention to the TV than you do me! - Ma`am, do you want me to fix your cable or not?
To the makers of rice cakes; thanks for nothing!
I told my family that I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle…So, they got up, unplugged my computer, and threw out my wine.
Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets???
Women are so silly sometimes, thinking men actually care if they fake it.
I like to punish people who ask me how I`m doing by giving them a detailed description of how I am doing.
The only toys I was allowed to play with in the tub were the dirty dishes.
My wife looks super hot without glasses. That’s why I stopped wearing them.
I`m tired of making the same mistakes over and over again. Does anyone have any new mistakes I can borrow?