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Will be drunk until further notice.
i think lady gaga puts glue on herself, and rolls around random items.
im like the government: i spend money on things that aren`t important, and spend most of my time trying to explain to people why i need them.
I`m now at the age where if I see a nice nursing home, I make a mental note of it.
I wished I loved anything as much as white people love saying "gracias" at Mexican restaurants.
Enough with procrastination, it’s time for excuses.
The best stories ever told always end with the words”…and then I got the hell out of there.”
Yes Officer, I carry a knife, but that`s just in case I find a cake.
I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
A fun thing to yell at a magic show is "BURN HIM, HE`S A WITCH"
I was just thinking…Then I thought “why?”... So there will be no more thinking today.
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Walmart.
Then there was the ex-cop who started his own landscaping business. He called it Lawn Order.
I`m saving all my good posts for when I can think of some.
I`m going to spend Valentine`s day with my ex.... Box 360