Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have a feeling I already know which direction my "Get rich or die trying" lifestyle is headed.
This status update is only available in English.
I think I just discovered Newton’s third law of Emotion: ..... "For every male action, there is an equal and opposite female overreaction."
Spread happiness by smiling at a stranger today, or flash them your boobs...... Strangers love boobs!
I finally stopped caring what other people think ... I hope everyone`s ok with that.
"Hey homie!" - How I greet my house whenever I arrive.
Understanding women number 476,395: Women like to talk about their feelings.
I`ve spent the past four years looking for my ex-wife`s killer, but no one will do it.
Just blew the sugar off my donut… Dieting is hard!
I`d like to have a child one day ... Two days, tops.
People without kids: I`ll never yell at my kids ... People with kids: I DONT KNOW WHY SOMEONE SPIT THEIR GUM ON THE ROAD, JUST WALK!
Good thing I`m judged on my actions and not my thoughts.
Men at 25 play football. Men at 40 play tennis. Men at 60 play golf. Have you noticed that as you get older your balls get smaller?
Keep your friends close and your unattractive enemies closer so you look better by comparison in pictures.
I love in horror movies how the person yells out "hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "yeah I´m in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"