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I really would love to see two mimes arguing.
I don`t know what`s more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you.
If I saw a ghost, I would not be scared. I’d be like “Sit your translucent ass down, I have a lot of questions!”
If at first you don`t succeed ... run them over
If video games have taught me anything, it`s that you`ll automatically get promoted if you kill your boss.
I might not be smarter than a 5th grader, but I can buy beer.
1st thing I do after great sex! Turn the alarm clock off.........
and alcohol are now friends.
The awkward moment when people think you`re drunk when in fact you`re just a blast naturally.
Reckon the first person to make popcorn by accident probably ran away
So, at this point, should we really still be calling them New Kids on the Block?
How come people who think they know everything never seem to know when to shut up?
I was driving thru Farmville and I had to pee ... so I pulled over and fertilized your crops
I don`t care if you wear footie pj`s or sleep with a Snuggie. If you swish Listerine in your mouth for the full 30 seconds, you are BADA$$.
When a newscaster says; "I am live at the scene with a person who witnessed the accident," what they really mean is; "Check out this douchetard we found at the scene of this crash."