Daily Silly Status

I took a sexual harassment course yesterday...I think I`m going to be pretty good at it.

I’m not here to judge, I’m just pointing out all the mistakes you’re making.

Im pretty sure that my shrink this week mumbled "this is pure gold" under his breath

Every year new words are added onto the dictionary, yet no new positions are added to the karma sutra.

If ignorance really was bliss we`d have a lot more really happy people around here.

I love my friends unconditionally.* *Certain terms and conditions may apply. May not be available on all days. Coverage not available in all locations.Offer good for 30 days.Requires two-year minimum agreement. Fees applied for activation and early termination.

I would eat a lot more healthy food if it required no preparation or stayed fresh as long as junk food.

Let`s share...you take the grenade and I`ll take the pin.

I`m not fat. My stomach is in 3D

I`m not lazy, I just rest before I get tired

I can make your gf scream louder than you can. - Spider

I think you people lied to me...exactly how much of this hair of the dog do I have to eat before this hangover goes away?

Here`s a list of things I need you to accomplish without any resources to do them with. -management

I like to gaze up at the stars at night and think about how somewhere there is intelligent life that hates doing laundry as much as I do.

Netflix would be by far the best dating site. "Here are 9 other singles in your area who have also watched Pokemon for 12 straight hrs"