Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have an awesome idea, but first I`ll need a zebra, bungee cords, jello, and a partner in crime. Any takers?
In terms of procrastination, I had a very productive day.
Thanks to Facebook, rock bottom now has a waiting list.
When I think of a SELFIE, I`m not sure it`s the same thing you`re thinking of...
People are so ungrateful. No one ever thanks me for having the patience not to kill them.
Sometimes I STOP when it`s not even Hammer time
Five little words that will win my heart, "I brought beer and pizza."
Life is basically one long, terrible date with yourself.
I’ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I’m actually talking to someone.
Best Pregnancy T-Shirt… “9 Months Sober”
The text message is the new greeting card, but without any hope that there will be money inside.
Nothing starts my day off quite like an inspirationsl status!...May your day go fast, your socks match and your underwear no ride up your a$$.
That sound you hear when you already closed the cupboard & hear something fall -yeah, that’s the sound of someone else’s problem.
Before you refer to someone as your ex, make sure they know you dated.
If A-B-C-D didn`t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn`t have to be so rushed.