Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Pick any number. Multiply it by two. Now add 12 to it. Divide it by 3. Now change it to 10. That`s how many seconds you just wasted.
On a scale from 0 to insane, I`m Batman!
A wise man, will often say nothing
Texting typos can change your life. "Having a great time wish you were her"
I got up at 7:00 this morning .. lather rinse repeat ... How long do you have to do this for?
How long does it usually take for a Happy Meal to start working?.... It`s been an hour.
I need a hug right now also five hundred thousand dollars in cash.
You’d think that with as much time as women spend looking at their ass in the mirror they would be able to reverse into a parking spot.
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? ;)
Does Starbucks have an express lane if your order is 10 words or less?
#1738 "The fact that people use the wrong "your" and "there" yet spell "Bieber" correctly bothers me."-dd
Cinderella is my favorite fairy tale about how foot size is the best way to recognize someone.
So, you`re telling me that the Grammys aren`t cute little bags of cocaine?
Excuse me sir, where do you keep the "Whoomp"? Oh, there it is.
I don`t want to brag, but I`m single-handedly responsible for 86% of the rules in the Employee Handbook at work.