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I`ve never been as disappointed as my dog just was when she realized the food I dropped was a carrot.
A bee will knowingly risk its own life just to cause you a little pain. I can totally relate to that feeling.
Finally 21 and now legally able to do things which i have been doing since 15….
Apparently when my math teacher asked `what comes after 69` "I DO" was not the correct answer.
Hey, I found your nose. It was in my business.
I decided I`m not doing the whole clock-back routine this year. If you need me, I`ll be in the frickin future.
Like medicine, some people should only be allowed to talk in doses. Like 30 sentences three times a day.
Seagull Manager; Someone who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everyone and then leaves.
I gave up my Ego, because I am so much better than that..................
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not sharks though. Or bees. Viruses. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don’t love anything.
Just think of how different the world would be if Noah had eaten those two chickens.
I`m a multi-taking procrastinator. I can put off all kinds of things all at once.
What idiot decided it should be my foot`s asleep instead of coma toes?
I am better off now than I was 4 beers ago...
Going to the skate park to watch people fall.