Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My driver`s side window stopped working,,,, So yeah,, I`m probably gonna starve to death..
If I could choose any one mythological creature to become alive & real, I`d have to pick…My girlfriend.
2 can keep a secret if one of them is dead...
Rubix cubes are EASY....when you`re color blind.
People: What a bunch of bastards!
Male or female, no one f*cks with you if you put your lipstick on like The Joker.
I`d like to give a big shout-out to all my hard of hearing friends!
My fridge is just hospice for vegetables.
I think the golden rule for men should be, don’t say anything to a woman at work that you wouldn’t want another man to say to you in prison.
I was watching craps at the casino all night until security finally dragged me out of the bathroom.
is it just me, or did anyone else think that we would be living like the Jetson´s by 2011?
Despite being a pain in the a$$, you have to admit I still bring a lot to the table.
Life Lesson: Never ever, ever do anything you wouldn`t want to explain to a nurse in a busy ER.
Have you noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy? i bet hes not laughing out loud
Just got done putting up all the garage sale signs. Hope the neighbor appreciates how much work I put into their surprise garage sale.