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Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings.. ;)
When people ask me if I`m working hard or hardly working, I like to stab them with a pen and ask if they`re hurting hard or hardly hurting.
My boss just asked me why I wasn`t working.. ..i told em cuz I didn`t see him coming
If I had a time machine I`d go back to 900 A.D. and just scare the sh!t out of people with an electric toothbrush.
STEP 1: Sign up for email newsletter STEP 2: Receive email newsletter STEP 3: Delete unread email newsletter for the rest of your life.
It`s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.
Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, nooooooo.
I really hate it when people need constant re-assurance. You know what I mean?
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don`t know. Inspirational statuses are hard.
"I`d hit that!" -Helpful blackjack dealer
My life has a great cast, but I can’t really figure out the plot.
They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what! Who wants to be in a hurry?!?
Just saw a car at McDonalds take 4 tries to get lined up in a parking space. I`m not judgmental, so I won`t assume what sex she was.
Secret Web Cam Test: Please nod your head yes if you can read this.