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Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.
To those that manufacture and market tight, thin yoga pants to fit college girls; I love you man.
The loudest possible way to open a bag of chips is to try and do it quietly.
"I love Justin bieber" well I love McDonalds but you don`t see me making an account pretending to be a f*cking chicken nugget do you...
Am I the only one who calculates how much sleep I can get before I go to bed?
Facebook would be much more interesting if they let you decide, which part of the body you wanna Poke.
I think all priuses are gay transformers living here on earth
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time
Actually, I prefer to smile on the `inside`, then no one knows what you`re up to....
It’s funny how people get mad when you treat them the same way they treat you.
To whoever has my voodoo doll, scratch between my butt cheeks....I`m in public.
I`m not lazy, I just rest before I get tired
Never hire an Electrician with no eyebrows
You call it Sushi, I call it bait.
That awkward moment when you type your password where you should`ve typed your email, and your friend`s standing right there -___-