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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Whats the difference between a phone number & an opinion? People ask for your phone number.
I thought Row vs. Wade was Washington`s decision when he reached the Delaware.
Do gun manuals have Trouble Shooting sections?
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I`m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God, I could be eating a slow learner...
once a homeless guy said to me `Hey you got a dollar` and I said `wow your absolutely right..with psychic powers like that I`m surprised your still homeless` got in my car and left..
However lonely you feel, you`re never alone. [There are literally millions of bugs, mites and bacteria living in your house.] Goodnight.
In a parallel universe calories are trying to burn people.
You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.
Velcro, what a rip-off!
How can there be more horses asses than there are horses?
I`m at my neighbor`s house having the most delicious dinner. Hope I finish before they get home!
Immature is just a word boring people use to describe fun people.
I woke up praying McDonald`s would still be serving breakfast but I just missed it by 6 hours.
You don`t have to drink to have fun... Just have fun drinking!
If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills,with a rubber band around it...I found the rubber band....