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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
I`m in the awkward time period between not wanting to have pants on, and having to wait for the pizza guy right now...
I bet spongebob will get his license before Taylor Swift finds love.
What`s the right age to stop running naked from the bedroom to the bathroom?
The recipe I am making says to chill for 30 minutes so I`m sitting back and having a margarita!
This whole being a responsible adult thing sucks.
"Try to score a goal. Don`t use your hands. See you afterwards." - Soccer coaches
My neighbours diary say`s I have boundary issues.
I found a spider in my shoe. He looks ridiculous, they`re way too big for him.
I decided I really need to read more. I watch way to much TV ... So I turned on the subtitles.
Tip of the day: Don`t piss off anyone who has unlimited access to your toothbrush.
Helping my kid study for her geology exam, and apparently `hard` `classic` and `punk` are not the 3 different types of rock.
Beer is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.
I’m so happy people can’t hear what I’m thinking.
If only losing weight was as easy as losing my cell phone, my keys, my temper, or even my mind ... I`d be SO skinny!