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I love how stars are billions of miles apart and we`re like "that`s a soup ladle".
Whoever is controlling me sucks at this game.
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
Do you know how many poisonous apples I`d have to give out before I was considered to be the fairest in the land?
I had been dreaming about eating a giant marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone! :O
Sometimes I post crazy shit just to see if my friend`s list will drop a few #`s
There are people in life you could NEVER get tired of hitting with a shovel!!!
Have you ever just sat there and realized how weird you are?
If Wyle E Coyote had enough cash to buy all that ACME stuff why didn’t he just buy dinner?
I`m not sure how to say this but ... Worcestershire sauce
Just washed my car with the squeegee at the gas station.
Go home Polar Vortex....yer drunk.
If you put a "Student Driver" sign on top of your car, Nobody will ever suspect you of drunk driving.
When I said I like it rough I was talking about the sex, not the whole entire relationship...
Every store should have one line for people who have their sh!t together.