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I can not be held responsible for what my face does when you talk.
Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can´t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
There’s both a McDonald’s and a blood pressure machine in this Walmart. Circle of life.
People always get so excited about the next generation iPhone but no one has caught up with the awesome technology that`s called a Turn Signal.
Who me? Oh I`m just waiting for my husband to apologize for something I did wrong...marriage is fun
Okay, I can`t take it anymore. What in the hell holds the blocks up in Mario Brothers?
drink beer ?? save water
Apparently “cheesecake & tacos” wasn’t the answer the interviewer was looking for when he asked me what my weaknesses are.
Let`s be honest. The only reason you listen to your voice-mail messages is to make the stupid icon disappear
My house has really let itself go.
My browser asks "are you sure?" when I clear my history as if theres anyone more sure of what theyre doing than someone clearing his history
And then God said, "Seems unfair to have given man an extra limb so to balance it out I`ll give women the power over which to control it."
If other employees are taking four fifteen minutes smoke break a day, I should most certainly be allowed a one hour nap time.
I wonder if New York people find it weird to watch their own city being destroyed in Hollywood movies so many times..!!
If you want to go running with me, you`d better be prepared to walk a lot.