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It`s called "Biscotti" because nobody would buy "chocolate covered croutons".
I lent my girlfriend ten grand to get plastic surgery, and now she left me and I don’t know what she looks like.
Why do we call it toilet paper? Does anyone wipe their toilet with it?
I’ll drink responsibly when there is a brand of vodka named Responsibly.
In lieu of a gift I liked a couple of charities on FB in your honour
My wife complained that I never lifted a finger to help around the house. So I lifted a finger. Apparently, it was the wrong one.
You are here: X
"Go left at the chopsticks in the road" - Chinese directions
I`m getting worried about this Ebola virus. I mean, I`ve got Norton but...
I want rich people problems. Like where to land my private jet.
Whenever you feel like a genius, remember there was a time in your life when you were learning to not poop your pants.
Cheers to alcohol! The cause of, and solution, to all of life’s problems!
I will never repeat filthy rumors. So listen closely the first time.
It kinda makes sense that the target audience for fidget spinners lost interest in them so quickly
There`s no way that whatever mothballs prevent is worse than the smell of mothballs.