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You guys ever trip out on the fact that Indian people eat Indian food for breakfast?
what if the princess wants to be with bowser, but mario keeps kidnapping her
Today I am thankful for dirty text messages, stripclubs, and Jack Daniels
Perhaps we should hold elections on the last Friday of November, with polling stations at Walmart, Target and Apple
Hope you don`t mind if I make transformer sound effects when we switch positions.
It’s pretty scary that before facebook… All these thoughts and stuff just stayed in peoples heads.
I`m just a boy...standing in front of a girl...asking her to lov.....aw who am I trying to fool. I just want in your pants.
Pro Tip: If you`re on the bus, and wearing headphones, people can still hear you fart.
The decline of civilization started when they stopped putting toys in boxes of cereal.
When I was young I was scared of the dark. Now when I see my electricity bill I am scared of the lights.
Whoever said time heals all wounds never had their leg bitten off by a shark.
I just went dumpster diving.. and hit the mother load. Tons of dude gear and tools! It smelled of angry white woman.
Don`t be afraid of a few extra pounds, fat people are much harder to kidnap.
I secretly like days when none of my Facebook friends have birthdays.
.Monday: No. Tuesday: Ugh. Wednesday: Why. Thursday: Omg. Friday: Finally. Saturday: Yes. Sunday: Crying.