Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I always knew that one day I`d end up face-down in the gutter. I just didn`t expect everyone to keep on bowling...
Be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. You choose your own adventure.
You really understand how drunk you are when you`re peeing...
"..::. :.:.. ::...: .:. :.:: ::.: ..::. :: ::.:..." - Stevie Wonder-
If you`re going to walk a mile in my shoes...Can you pick me up some beer on your way back?
I saw a baby wearing a bib that said, “This dumbass put my cape on backwards”
I wish I had the confidence of a male flight attendant
I’ve been searching for my stolen bed. And I won’t rest until I find it.
Everyday I run into someone who pushes me past the limits of my medication.
I’m glad we don’t have to hunt for our food any more. I don’t even know where sandwiches live...
Oh, so you are thinking about me? I am also thinking about myself.....
Good rule of thumb: if you see an adult riding a children’s bicycle, you’re probably in a bad neighborhood.
To a cop, doing donuts in a parking lot has a whole different meaning.
You call it Sushi, I call it bait.
Parenting tip: if you beat one child with the other child you can tell people they were just fighting. You`re welcome.