Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I need a keyboard shortcut for "sorry it`s taken me so long to reply to your text..."
I don`t care how smart your phone is, it`s not going to change how stupid you are.
So how many women out there think men are pigs? Gimme a show of tits!
This week’s weather forecast: Sweaty underboobs.
Has marriage been on Mythbusters yet?
Hey, does anyone know which side you`re supposed to wear your fanny pack on? I want to really nail this job interview tomorrow.
When people ask for my advice, I advise them not to take my advice. That really screws them up.
My mother said, “You won’t amount to anything because you procrastinate.” I said, “Oh ya…..Just you wait.....”
When a girl says: "If you can`t handle me at my worst, then you don`t deserve me at my best"... What she really means is: "I`m a f*ckin psycho."
I believe in love at first sight or as science calls it, "boners."
Asking me if I’m hungry, is like asking me if I like money.
On the bottle of mouthwash it says "24 hour protection", so why do the directions say "Use Twice Daily"?
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole
Sometimes I send status updates from my phone so it looks like I left the house.
The reason I don`t play Scrabble online, is that I can`t throw the tiles at the person who beats me.