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When you wish upon a shooting star, all your dreams will come true. Unless the star is really a meteor about to destroy the earth. Then, you´re pretty much dead no matter what you wish for.
Today one of my colleague told...... Buddy let get into serious studies... exams are on our heads.... And then both of us continued to chat with other people on fb for hours
I went for a run today. What the hell is wrong with you people why would you do this to yourself you need help.
I thought my name was "Stop encouraging him" until I was 11.
Halfway through singing a romantic ballad to my cat, it occurred to me that I`m going to die alone.
Hello is this HP? I’d like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet and you sent me a printer.
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
There are 3 reasons for ”Liking” someone’s Facebook status: 1. I agree. 2. I realise this is about me, so I’m liking it to rub it in your face. 3. I want to bang you.
Well that’s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I’m doing
My Tupperware lids and single socks are chilling somewhere laughing at me.
Crazy to think back before camera phones we all used to sit in front of bathroom mirrors with sketch pads.
I wonder if strippers have nightmares about accidentally going to work fully clothed?
You know you`ve reached adulthood when your bed is in the middle of the wall instead of in the corner.
100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses. The stables have turned.
I went to the Dr today with severe headaches .. he asked if I suffered from any memory loss. I said "How the F would I know?"