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It may look like I’m in deep thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food I’m going to eat later.
To a woman, sexual harassment is when a man makes advances towards her. If a woman makes advances towards a man, we call that getting lucky.
My brain is giving me the silent treatment today.
My boss called me lazy and said I had poor communication skills... I almost responded
I have a life outside of internet, it involves charging my phone.
Phones are getting smarter and thinner. People, not so much.
Just wrote ‘You have no new messages’ on a piece of paper, put it in a bottle and threw it far out to sea.
Shake up a random soda pop in the company fridge today. You deserve it.
If I could be any animal I`d pick a turtle, strictly for the chance, however slight, I could be turned into a ninja.
Well, Thanks to SAMSUNG, flat screens are no longer `Flat`.
Scientists have yet to explain how 300 people can be working at a Wal-Mart but only 4 registers will be open.
Do the people inside mascot costumes also smile when they have their photos taken?
I hate when I’m walking into the gym and the wind blows me into the liquor store.
Light beer and turkey bacon probably won`t kill you but why take the chance??
Women say all men are dogs, but fail to realize that dogs are the most loyal creatures in the world if you treat them right.