Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If advertisers were smart, they`d make a silent, slow-motion commercial that runs at normal speed when you fast forward through it on a DVR.
Why do I get the feeling that a lot of you are using Facebook as a substitution for prescription meds?
My wife said to me: "If you won the lottery, would you still love me?" I said: "Of course I would. I`d miss you, but I`d still love you."
Whoever said "Lets do that" in the meeting for the pop-tarts without frosting, should be fired
Damn you auto correct mind your business.
Well, it`s about that time of the day when I stop hitting the snooze button, wipe away the drool, open the blinds, and head on home from work.
I know the voices aren`t real, but man do they come up with some great ideas.
I just realised that sex is like air..its not important unless you are not getting any.
"Never go to bed angry" is the worst advice ever. I haven`t slept in a week!
Cheer Up. Right now, somebody, somewhere, is thinking about you naked.
I don`t know why they call it Everclear. I drink that stuff and everything is a blur.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?”
Long story short, I love summaries
I`m so fresh they call me "ferbreeze"
I´m up way too early for someone who wasn´t planning on seizing the day.