Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
" a fool and his money ----- are never around when you need a loan......"
Her: Do I look fat? Him: Do I look stupid?...
I left work in slow motion but it didn’t blow up behind me.
That microwavable meal was delicious and filling! – no one ever
Laziness: the habit of resting before you get tired.
I have no problem texting while driving, but I won’t text while going down stairs. That sh!t’s dangerous.
Hey ladies, you know that feeling you get when you roll over & realize you made a horrible mistake? I could give that to you every day.
Sharing your faith on Facebook is like sharing a fart in a elevator. It might feel nice to come out but no one really wants to hear it.
Stages of Drunk: 1. Wow. I can dance. 2. All hats look GOOD on me. 3. Shhh. Don`t wake up the cows.
There was a HUGE spider in the shower.. So I ran into the living room screaming naked.. Now my daughters` friends probably won`t be allowed over anymore..
When someone yells stop, I don`t know if it`s in the name of love, it`s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.
I`m sorry. . . I didn`t mean to stare. . . it`s just that I have never seen stupid of this magnitude up close before
I don`t always do a lot, but I put a lot of thought into it.
I always hit the "no receipt" button at the ATM because I don`t need that negativity in my life.
If someone invites you to their wedding, it`s apparently bad form to say "Sorry I can`t make it but I`ll come to your next one".