Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Making everyone happy is impossible. But pissing them off is a piece of cake. I really like cake.
When i am bored, i like parking along side the xpressway stick a hair dryer out the window, and watch everyone slam on their brakes.
I often worry about the safety of my children ... Especially the one who is talking back right now.
You never realize what you have till its gone... Toilet paper is a good example.
if money grew of trees, girls would be dating monkeys
Your family tree must look like a cactus........everybody on it is a pr!ck
Think you`re going crazy? When you get there, look for me and I`ll show you around.
The first person who discovered how to make popcorn must have been like "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!"
When people say "To be honest...", it means that up to that point they`ve been lying.
I`m just a guy standing in front of a huge pile of laundry wondering how flammable it is.
I just blew all my party money on bills again
Don`t be ashamed of who you are. That`s your parents job.
Are you supposed to get an email that says “HAHAHAHAHA” after signing up for Match.com?
No matter how hard I try, I just never seem to run out of bad ideas.
Guess it`s time to get to the part of the day I hate... the part which requires pants.