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I got in an elevator with a lady with big breasts. She said could you press one for me please. I did and that was the last thing I remember
Money can`t buy you happiness, but it does give you the ability to rent it until you die.
So you think you can study with your facebook activated? That`s cute! ^.^
I have cat-like reflexes. If I hear a loud noise, I keep napping.
I thought about cleaning my room this weekend but didn`t do it. Then I remembered its the thought that counts so I feel better now
I am the undefeated champion of this”smooshing-down-the-garbage-so-I-don’t-have-to-take-it-out-for-another-day” game.
I try to conduct myself as a perfect gentleman whenever I meet a lady. Chicks dig that.
You know it´s cold outside when during rush hour you get the mitten instead of the finger.
Is anyone else`s alcohol tolerance too high for their paycheck?
Trust me , as you get to know me , i just get weirder.
hates when I´m singing along with the radio and the artist messes up the words!
I just missed winning the lottery by only 6 numbers.
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don’t know. Inspirational statuses are hard.
I need chapstick on my lips ... anyone want to share ?
Now that 1 in every 3 people cheats in their relationships,I`m left wondering. . .Is it my wife or my girlfriend that`s cheating?