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if the shoe fits wear it , if it too tight take it off
I`m so broke that I can`t even pay attention!
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on again?
I overheard 2 girls say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.
My parents preferred my imaginary friend over me.
The phrase "Go see your Ford dealer" means something completely different in Canada than the United States.
Touch my food and suffer the consequences.
My winter wardrobe consists of my summer clothes layered on top of one and other.
At the Touch of Love..Everyone Becomes a Poet !
But..At the Touch of Breakup Everyone Becomes a Philosopher... ^_^
My bed and I are in a good relationship, and my alarm clock is so0o jealous...
Women say they want a guy who can make them laugh. I`d probably have done better if they`d specified that they didn`t mean by tickling.
I almost forgot to upload a pic of my Starbucks coffee. What a waste of coffee that would have been!
People keep thinking that I care ... Wierd.
Just ruined $387 worth of blinds in the house, but that fly is dead.
I called McDonald`s to make a reservation for Valentine`s Day, just to listen to the stammering and confusion from the kid answering the phone.