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I don`t hate you, I`m just not necessarily excited about your existence.
People say circumcision dosen`t hurt. I was circumcised when I was born and I couldn`t walk for nearly a year.
Radio Shack has stayed in business with a name combining something no one buys anymore and a type of building no one wants to go into.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. LOL. But on the up side, it is fun!! ;)
PRO TIP: You can use crunchy food to block out conversations of people you hate.
My mom wanted to talk to me about my maturity today, but she didn`t know the password to my secret fort.
Tip for women; All men really want is to be close to someone who will leave them the hell alone.
Smile. Your enemies hate it.
I`m going to be the first person to land on the sun! I know what your thinking and thats why I will be going at night.
Trying to understand women is like trying to smell the color 8.
I DON`T HATE YOU,I`M JUST NOT NECESSARILY EXCITED ABOUT YOUR EXISTENCE!
The next person that tells me I have no shame…probably knows me pretty darn well.
Kinda funny how the Mayans said we were all gonna die in 2012, but they all disappeared way before us.
I was worried my notifications had stopped working but luckily I’m just unpopular.
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.