Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I assume guys who wear their phones on the hip do so because their pockets are stuffed to the brim with condoms and girls phone numbers
At first it was "Okay" and then "ok" and now "k" and soon it will disappear and you`ll all regret it
When someone asks if you lost weight, the correct response is always, "no, it just seems like it to you because you got fatter."
Most days the best thing about my job is that my chair spins
When you go in the other room I ask your dog what you look like naked.
Come on. Let`s all go and be happy in front of some miserable people
My body is by no means a temple but it can be one heck of a amusement park ride...
It’s the people that DON`T talk to themselves that are the crazy ones. At least that’s what I tell myself.
I wish I loved anything as much as rappers love female dogs and gardening tools
I want to delete a bunch statuses, so if you guys could just message me your passwords that`d be great.
I’m planning on ringing the new year in with a kiss ... whether my dog likes it or not.
i wasnt that drunk * "bro, you destroyed my mothers garden while screaming F*CK FARMVILLE!"*
I`m sorry. Putting up with your sh!t isn`t on my To-Do list today.
B!tch, please! You`re so fake, even barbie is jealous of you
Learned a lesson from my dog tonight ... No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that sh1t and move on.