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When a guy texts a girl “hey stranger”, what he really means is “I’ve recently thought about trying to get in your pants again.”
To be honest, I panic a bit right before I have to pronounce Worcestershire sauce.
Facebook: Saving us money on birthday cards since 2004
President Obama says his daughters need minimum wage jobs to "learn what it means to work." May I suggest the same for members of Congress?
Don`t under estimate me... unless you`re trying to guess how old I am or how much I weigh.
Is "blowjob" one word or two words? God I hate writing thank you cards. -Bfanch
thinks the voices in my head are out of beer.
Pool party at my house, bring ur own pool..
Don`t care what your religious or political beliefs are, if you`re male or female, young or old. I will tackle you hard for that last donut.
Let me just flip this here omelette.... aaaaaand I`m having scrambled eggs
It`s 2014, people. Isn`t it about time we put an end to all this `wake up in the morning and go to work` nonsense?
I don`t like country music, but I don`t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means `put down`.
I`m just like the ghostbusters, except I chase squirrels around my neighborhood with a vacuum cleaner
I self medicate, therefore you live.
I wonder who Jason Waterfalls is and why did TLC not want him to go...