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Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now and then.
I may not look good naked, but I`m a beautiful person on the insi.... Hahahaha just kidding I look great naked
There are over 4 million workplace injuries reported every year. Play it safe…call in sick tomorrow.
Cranked the treadmill up to MAX for 15 minutes. When I finally took a break my roller skates were hot to the touch.
My coworker`s inspire me to drink on the job.
I do not like being told what to do unless I`m naked.
If you`re a grown man walkin around with a winter hat that has animal ears I can tell that @ some point people used 2 take your lunch money
My greatest fear is that PMS is fake and this is my real personality.
I know there are some people we say were dropped on their heads as babies. But there are others that were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall & fell out the window.
My plan for today? Same as always: Drink coffee and be sexy.
Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I`m driving.
These bar stools are creaky!! [continues to fart on first date]
Another year has passed. I`ve just about given up on the Mayans.
We should be nicer to old people. When they walked uphill both ways in the snow they had to do it without an internet connection too.
My Facebook account would benefit from a breathalyzer-activated password.