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you need a license to drive, but anyone can have a kid.
I think my guardian angel drinks.
Kids today don`t know what hardship is. When I was younger I sometimes had to wait ALL DAY for MTV to play my favorite video.
My greatest talent is being able to watch 5 years worth of a TV shows in one week.
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like ten so you can choose.
I`m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off a bunch of sh!t all at the same time.
Proof that getting kicked in the nuts is worse than giving birth. Girls often say, yeah I`d have another baby. Guys never ask to get kicked in the nuts again.
Some people should use a glue stick instead of chap stick.
I just found love.....its on page 369 in dictionary
I don`t know why people freak out and run when they see a spider. They are just gonna climb in your mouth when you are sleeping anyway.
Congratulations India on successfully orbiting a probe around Mars. I assume you`ll be opening call centers on the red planet and using fake Martian names now?
Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation, even if I’m not sure what it means
Girl are you a University of Phoenix degree because I`m pursuing you online and from my couch
I don’t think my neighbor watches porn. She asked if I could fix her sink. I’ve been here for an hour and I’m still fixing her sink.
I have a confession to make... "I want to get back with my ex"...LOL Just Kidding..."I`d rather shit in my hands and clap !"