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Any psycho girls wanna hang out? Just text me like 5000 times and let me know.
If Jehovah`s witnesses brought pizza and beer with them, I`d gladly let them in to spend an afternoon chatting about religion.
Sometimes knowing exactly where you are does not make you any less lost.
Oh and BTW,,, Why haven`t Pig Pen`s parents been visited by child services yet?
I can`t wait to meet that special someone who will eventually ignore me.
All I ask is to one day live in a house with secret passages.
I took a sexual harassment course this afternoon.... I think I am going to be pretty good at it.
If I lived in England I would approach my boss on payday and say "pound me."
"Grapey." -me after every wine at the wine-tasting
Save your breath ... You`ll need it later to blow up your date.
Tip Of The Week: When going through airport customs and you are asked “do you have any firearms with you?” do not reply “what do you need?”
If pigs really could fly I bet their wings would taste delicious.
The only reason I offer to be the designated driver is so people will get used to seeing me load lifeless bodies into my car.
Subway only exists because we`re all too damn lazy to throw a sandwich together. "Could you lay meat on that bread for me? Here`s $8."
is wondering if the hokey pokey is really what it´s all about