Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don`t judge if you don`t know me. Unless you`re my bartender & you say "This guy looks like he needs another double vodka martini" then please do..
Boss: You`re on another break already? Me: No. This is the same one you saw me on an hour ago.
Too bad you can’t get abs from laughing at your own jokes, because I would have an 8 pack.
Someone’s therapist knows all about you.
Thou shall not promote Christmas until after Thanksgiving.
It’s a strange moment, when you realize that the sound of nature is the sound of millions of animals, birds, and insects desperately trying to get laid.
Remember, laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diarrea.
the ulitmate moment is when your identical twin says your ugly
Tired of those Political Ads on television?...... You may be entitled to compensation.
Pinatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you`ll get what you want.
Sometimes there just aren’t enough curse words.
The synonym for `reality` is `offline`
Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.
Not to brag or anything, but I don`t need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
You shouldn`t be allowed to wear animal print if you are bigger than said animal.