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I would like to wish all of the groundhogs a very safe and happy Groundhogs Day.
When they say " drink responsibly ", what they really mean is "don`t f***in spill it!"
Unless life hands you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.
Girls here is an idea.. instead of spending that much money on make up just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.
I was shocked when I heard the local Radio Shack is closing. Mostly because I had no idea we had one.
If your wife has 2 phones, save both numbers under one name : “Wife” Never save them as "Wife1" and “Wife2" ~ a husband from the hospital
The problem with taking the road less traveled is the poor phone signal...
I can update Facebook from anywhere. Even when crossing the stre
One day I hope to understand the phrase "more money, more problems"
I`m convinced that homeless people have all the shopping carts with 4 good wheels.
The problem with today`s children is that today`s parents are idiots.
Where did all the people walking around with boomboxes in the 80s go? I`m concerned
if drinking destroys your memory .... what does drinking do ?
"kill it before it lays eggs" - is my standard suggestion to any problem
My boss yelled at me yesterday "It`s the fifth time you`ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!" I said, "Probably that it`s Friday?"…