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So another day has come and gone and I still haven`t used algebra.
This headache feels like dumb people
Of all the martial arts, Karaoke inflicts the most pain.
"Safely remove USB." Who does that?
Let`s be honest, Dos Equis. After a bunch of ANY beer, what guy DOESN`T think he`s the most interesting man in the world?
Abaaabbbbaaabbbaabbbaabb..... Long time no ` C ` ; P
ALERT: Missing Unicorn...if you find it, you`re probably high
"2, 4, 6, 8!! Ride my face let`s fornicate!!!" And with that, HR banished me from all future employee picnics.
The Patriots defensive coverage was almost as bad as the coverage by Obamacare.
Ghetto wet floor sign: Caution Bitches Be Trippin
OMG guys!! im so happy!! the doctors just gave me a jacket so im always hugging myself!!
Walmart...because going to Target requires identity theft protection and a shower.
I think there should be a mandatory test at 16 that you have to pass and if not, you get neutered or spayed.
I would know if I was insane, the voices would tell me.
I called McDonald`s to make a reservation for Valentine`s Day, just to listen to the stammering and confusion from the kid answering the phone.