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I can`t wait for the day when my kids are old enough that I can drink with them and not because of them.
To be truthful from deep down ... I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
So, I guess we’re just supposed to assume the number is 1-800-Ghostbusters?
facebook cuz am too old to have imaginery friends
Two years ago I became a proud parent. My kid is 6, but they were kind of a pain those first four years.
I sure buy a lot of alcohol. Hope I`m not a shopaholic.
"Let`s give the bad guy a ponytail." - 80s movies
Hey dumb a$$. Not everything I post pertains to you. Just the stuff that starts with Hey dumb a$$.
Every Chrysler commercial should begin with them apologizing for the PT Cruiser.
If you aren`t sure if you like someone, here`s a test: imagine they`re dead. Now, was it an accident or did you murder them?
There should be an "oh my god, shut up already" button.
Sarcasm is a dominant gene in my family.
Surprise your wife today. Sell all her shoes and buy something nice for yourself.
You`re right, vodka. This is the perfect time to use a hammer.
Stop undressing me with your eyes!...Use your teeth!