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Iām beginning to believe that successful relationships come down to Netflix compatibility.
The first rule of selfie club should be to clean your room.
Do you guys dance in the shower too? This morning I did the robot! (I short circuited and stared at the wall for 40 minutes, broken)
Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn`t hear you the first 100 times.
If you rub two sticks together fast enough, you`ll eventually start a widespread panic on the subway.
Coaster? You`re assuming I plan to put my drink down...
My therapist says I have imposter syndrome. But come on, I`m not good enough to have something fancy like that.
My walk of shame is going back for a shopping cart after realizing I can`t carry 23 items in my arms through the store.
When I die, bury me with a pack of smokes, no light. Where I`m going, there will have plenty of free fires to light from.
Some young men are like bottles of wine. They need to be tended to carefully & given time to mature; which is why I keep a few in my cellar.
When asked how I take my coffee, I reply with, "Seriously. Very seriously."
Can you shut up now?! Because talking to you sounds less appealing then playing leapfrog with unicorns.
I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice.
Good Morning! A fresh cup of hot coffee and my FB page is up, just look at that, I already achieved all my goals for the day.
I just had DĆ©jĆ vu...and you were an asshole both times.