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Organized people are just too lazy to look for things!
“Hangover” makes it sounds like it’s all done now. I’d like to propose the term “hanghappening”.
Taking shots of Tequila is just another way of saying, "I like where I wake up to always be a surprise."
If anyone could read my mind I`m pretty sure they`d be traumatized for life.
Ya know u would never know u where happy if u never had bad memory.
I`m thinkin` Dodgeball........... but with random people..........who don`t know they are playing.............
The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence.
My girlfriend JUST spent the ENTIRE day arguing that she isn`t stubborn.. :|
Non alcoholic beer is like porn movie on a radio
If Kutcher went to Sheen and said It`s still your show, this was all a joke and yelled "You got Punked" it would be the greatest prank ever.
I`m starting to think I overuse exclamation points. It ends today. Right now. I`ll never ever use one again. I`m so excited about it. Yes.
If I could have sex with anyone, living or dead, I would for sure pick living.
A shake for breakfast. A shake for lunch. A sensible dinner. SEVENTY FIVE COOKIES AT 12:34AM
Whenever I think of a funny status I always get a pen and write it down so I can use it later, and if the pen is too far away I just convince myself that it wasn’t that funny anyway.
I asked my girlfriend why she never tells me when she orgasms. She said she doesn`t like phoning me at work.