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So, when is this Old Enough To Know Better thing supposed to kick in?
I really shouldn`t have driven home from the bar last night. ..Especially since I walked there. :)
"That`s crazy" is the perfect response when you haven`t been listening.
Things I didn`t learn in high school... how to pay bills buy a house apply for college but thank goodness I can graph a polynomial function.
I bet if the movie "mirrors" releases part 3, the 1st victim will die while trying to take a selfie
NEWS FLASH: Man arrested for having sex with a tree.....Police confirm he had wood!!!
Its all sh!ts and giggles until someone giggles and sh!ts
Headaches are when the voices inside my head get into a fist fight.
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
My resume is basically just a list of things I hate to do.
Why aren`t we letting blind people think that dragons are real?
That akward moment you try and deep throat a banana and get caught ... and your a dude.
Mister Rogers didn’t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
A "Tap Out" sticker on your mini van still makes it a mini van.
Having kids puts a new perspective on life.