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ah Saturday, where it`s socially acceptable to drink in the morning. ;)
Some people are normal. What an awful, boring existence that must be.
Note to self... next time my wife asks what`s on tv, don`t say dust
I decided I`m going to be poor... Its Cheaper :)
Your day sucked, huh? I`m sure Facebook would love to hear about it.
My earthquake kit is just a tuxedo, because in case of a disaster, I want to look like the most important person to save.
Not every flower can say love...but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst...but a cactus did. Not every idiot can read, but look at you go!!!! lol
It`s important to teach your children math so they can better understand what episode of Star Wars they are watching.
Iām glad you spent $80 on makeup to look like a $5 whore. Well done
I hate it when I tell someone I`ll be there in 10 minutes, but they continue to call me every half-hour anyway
My IQ? ... With google or without?
How much tequila goes into mashed potatoes again?
Why do people at home on TV have their pants on?
If I get a million likes on Facebook......not a damn thing will change.
Based on my reaction to toast popping out of a toaster, Iād like to recommend you never throw me a surprise party.