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Hair pulling during sex is hot ... unless the whole wig comes off.
You can tell a lot about a womans mood by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she`s probably angry.
One man`s trash is another man`s profile picture.
You know it`s way past your bed time when the 1-800-dial-a-hoe commercials come on.
A homeless man comes up to me asking for change, I say "Change comes from within." He looked stunned.
I don`t think America should elect a president in 2016. We need to be single for a few years and find ourselves.
If A-B-C-D didn’t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to be so rushed.
Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
I consider each one of my friends a gift. Now if only I could remember where I put some of those receipts.
The 21st century: When deleting history is more important than making it.
Some of my friendships are bad for my liver.
At times I wish I had a clone, but then I realize, I could never live with that a$$hole.
I’m pretty sure the whole “ladies first” thing was created by a guy that just wanted to check out a girl’s butt.
Time to try some of this candy from the Easter "bunny"... Can`t trust anything you find laying in the yard these days.
My life coach just informed me that I didnt make the team