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When your coworker tells you they are getting a divorce a high five is not the right answer. Or so I`ve been told. Twice now.
If the planet is 4 billion plus yrs old. Is 2017 really the correct new year.
My hair only looks good on days when no one important sees it.
So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
Is it polite or rude to slide a note into the bathroom stall next to you that says, "heard you farting but it`s ok you`re in the right place :)"
I do not gossip ... I pass things along ... It`s like a public service.
If I`ve learned anything from Facebook, it`s that you shouldn`t be learning on Facebook.
Comment if you think I`m normal... Like this if you think I`m crazy... Copy this if you know your crazy too! And if your me... OMG TURKEY SQUIRREL! :)
So far, I am 100% at believing what happened next on Facebook links.
My dad always used to say, "The sky`s the limit!" Which is probably why he got fired from his job at NASA.
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
So far my only real accomplishment in life has been not having kids.
After watching "Breaking Bad" and the VMAs in the same night, I think I`d rather my kid be a meth dealer than a musician.
I would tell you to go to he!! but all dogs go to heaven.
1. Pour milk on floor. 2. Ask which kid did it. 3. Send them to their rooms when they don`t admit it. 4. Enjoy peaceful evening.