Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I may not look good naked, but I`m a beautiful person on the insi.... Hahahaha just kidding I look great naked
Apparently, the answer "I Know" is not a good answer when your friend tells you how good his girlfriend is in bed
I love it when I Google something I should know the answer to and find out 308 people are just as dumb as I am.
I am addicted to Cold Turkey. Not sure how I will ever quit that one.
I made a New Years Resolution to gain 20 lbs, so I can relish in the sense of accomplishment and success!
Hang out with different people everyday so the only person who knows you`ve been wearing the same outfit all week is you.
How long have I been working here? ... Ever since they threatened to fire me.
I feel like there’s something missing in my life and I don’t know if it’s a person, a puppy, or just a burrito.
I knew we were gonna be friends when you ran into that wall.
I am not saying you are stupid, because I thought you already knew
REMEMBER: If you start to hear banjos, get the hell outta there!
If sex between 3 people is called a Threesome and sex between 2 people is called a Twosome... Why is Handsome still a compliment?
Well it`s almost time for that " New Year -- New Me " bullsh_t again!
I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one!
Alcohol – The best night time: slurring, headache, dehydration, drink spilling, charm killing, so you think you can dance “medicine.”