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I wish I could feel as happy as an adult, as I felt as a kid when the teacher wheeled in the TV during class
Sometimes, I`ll start a text with "lol" if it might be a sensitive subject. Like, "lol it`d be cool if you moved out."
More tattoo artists really just need to say "No, I`m not doing that."
Roses are red! violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Snot.
I`m trying to cut back on posting pics to Instagram, so I`m not going to eat anymore.
I`m not judging you, I`m just trying to guess what medications you`re on.
Women have to deal with periods, pregnancy, childbirth, menopause and hot flashes. Men have to deal with women.
Of course the Pilgrims had a lot to be thankful for, all their in-laws were back in Europe.
You know it`s cold outside when during rush hour you get the mitten instead of the finger.
I bet my road rage will be taken seriously once I get a car.
Been coughing all night & day, can`t seem to stop. Guess I should go see a movie.
I believe in sharing the road with other drivers. They can have the part behind me.
that awkward moment when you`re alone somewhere and trying to take a picture of yourself.
All these women on the 48 dating sites I`ve joined, seem so f*cking sad and desperate.
If you had to choose between your significant other and a million dollars, what`s the first thing you`d buy?