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Don`t rush me, I`m waiting until the last minute.
My Christmas tree smells like pine, and is hanging from the shift lever in my car.
I clean my house like everyone else ... 5 minutes before someone comes over.
Should have never gave my cat a lemon, now he’s walking around like a sour puss.
I just don`t want to look back and think "I could`ve eaten that"
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don`t give a damn!
Nice try "Private Caller", but I wont`t answer even if I know you.
My give a damn is busted! Parts on backorder....
There’s plenty of fish in the sea… I just suck at fishing.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
When someone looks over my shoulder while I`m on the computer, I open up a new tab and start searching, "HOW TO KILL THE PERSON BEHIND ME."
Girlfriend: You`re acting like a little kid. Me: What do mean, little kids can`t drink.
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.
Immature: A word boring people use to describe fun people.