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If there is no chocolate in heaven...I AM NOT GOING!
Million dollar idea: Alarm clock that releases spiders... NOW you`re up.
I wonder if one day somebody will knock on my door and say to me, “Hey ,we have 7 mutual friends in Facebook; may I come in?"
Just saw the little boy next door licking whip cream off the cat. Pretty sure he heard something he shouldn`t have.
Decisions decisions ... Guess I`ll drink on it.
Orange Hi-C counts as a serving of fruit, right?
Not to brag but when I push it, I push it real good.
Don`t worry about the grass on the other side. It`s not your grass.
I was only 6 numbers away from winning the powerball.
I`m not opposed to manscaping, but I don`t see the point of cutting the grass until somebody takes interest in the property.
Sorry I mixed 50,000 instant pudding packets into your above ground pool
I sneak alcohol into work because I`m a problem solver.
Safety Tip: lock your doors and windows before bed. Btw, I love what you`ve done with the place.
Whenever I want a klondike bar I just pay for it.
What do horses eat? Hay. What do gay horses eat? Haaaayyyy!