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I`m never more nervous than when I tell a doctor what I actually eat.
Who else`s favorite Spring time game is "Guess how deep that pothole really is."
Don`t run with scissors -- unless you`re stealing scissors, of course. If so, run. Run like the wind scissor thief!
What do you mean this posting of the BBQ ribs you made is not an invite?
My "Do Not Disturb" facial expression is not working today.
It`s been close to a million years since I exaggerated about anything.
It would be a lot easier to drink the recommended 64oz of water a day if it was beer.
m for Monday t for Tuesday wtf Wednesday Thursday Friday get it wtf
I hope all your dreams come true, especially that one where you`re being chased by a giant spider.
FYI: You can buy wedding cake even if there`s no wedding, those suckers don`t even check
I`d take a stupid dog over a stupid person any day.
This is not meant for you. Look away. STOP LOOKING AT IT! :)
Describe yourself in 3 words". "Not good at following instructions"
If you have to tell us that you`ve been going to the gym, you probably need to go more often....
Write me your opinions on this extra soft paper and leave it next to my toilet.