Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s been a boring day today. Not exactly Nascar boring, but awfully close.
if there wasnΒ΄t a last minute IΒ΄d never get anything done.
There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying "I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
My Memory.....The Second shortest thing I have.
I wish I had a dollar for every dollar I don`t have.
I`m not fat, God gave me built in airbags because I`m so precious.
Iβm not a picky eater or anything but I will look at both sides of a Dorito before I eat it to decide if its got a good cheesy dust ratio.
The worst thing about renting movie from a Red Box is that a $1 late fee isnβt enough motivation to get off the couch.
I said I was good at making decisions. I didn`t say the decisions I made were good.
I refuse to jump on the `I hate Mondays` bandwagon. I hate all workdays equally
I stopped paying my car payments to concentrate on my dream of appearing on a Repo show.
An apple a day will keep anyone away ... if thrown hard enough.
I swear on this f*cking chicken I will never swear again. Oops.
What is this World Cup and can I drink from it?
Ok ... I just had a talk with myself, and it did not go well. Now I`m grounded.