Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Remember kids, the Toys R Us bankruptcy and liquidation teaches us that poor spelling and grammar will always catch up with you eventually.
The part of "no" that I don´t understand is the part where I don´t get what I want
I`ve been hiding from exercise. I`m in the fitness protection program.
I’m drinking like there’s snow tomorrow.
Sleeping is so difficult when you have a world awake in your phone.
I`d say that 6:30 is the best clock time, hands down.
The only complaint I have about being married is being married.
I like to say "Do I smell popcorn?" right after I fart ..that way everyone quickly takes a deep breathe.
My wife says I`m a clueless idiot. I didn`t even know I had a wife.
The one thing you can always count on is your fingers.
Its all fun and games until someone drinks the beer with the cigarette butts in it..
I pretend my bruises are sex bruises instead of I tripped over my cat while trying a new dance move bruises.
Your trophy wife is more of a participation trophy wife, isn`t she?
My facebook has been rated PG for Poor Guy
I must have drank more than I thought last weekend...there`s an entire hour that I don`t remember!