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Being an adult is mainly drinking coffee and pretending to be productive.
I just did my budget for August. If I don`t buy food ... I won`t need toilet paper. I think I`m on to something here.
Gentlemen may not be extinct, but they are definitely endangered
My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I`m camping, I won`t be covered.
I think all priuses are gay transformers living here on earth
All the advantages right-handed people have are cancelled out when we have to do our banking at the drive-up ATM left-handed.
You can`t Febreze bullshit.
I did not mean to hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I just figured you already knew.
everyone is BEAUTIFUL in there own way--your just to UGLY to see that
Cars should come with two horns: one that’s like “Hey guys!” & another that’s like “I will end you!”
Home: Where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
My problem has always been a Constipated Brain and my mouth has the Runs.......
One dog was admiring another dog`s leash, and said, "I admire your restraint."
Can you LIKE this status with your elbow? (no cheating)
Finding a needle in a haystack is quite easy if you just set the hay on fire.